Purge the Crush

Hey, everyone has felt it at some point; that sweet tension and the feeling between your legs that betrays the emotion of nonchalantness that is carefully plastered all over your face. The literal feeling of fluttering butterflies and the quick contraction of your heart that tells you of the looming danger. It is exciting to feel that alive and weak at the same time; to feel that surrender that comes from the knowing that another has taken over your reasoning at that point in time. Time freezes almost at once, and everything stops and it seems only you exist in the world of more than ten billion people. If you had to choose whose life to save in that instant out of everyone apart from you, you knew that you would not even give a flinching thought to your parents but just bask in the knowledge that if you save this person’s life, they will forever be indebted to love you. Now, the most natural thing in the world would be for this person to just feel the same way, and get it over with right? Well... what if they don’t, what do you do then, will you just decide to die just so that you can be cleared of all the ridiculous embarrassment that comes from the knowing of your socio-emotional foolishness. Hell no! You are not going to sit there and feel sorry for yourself, you have to get over this nitwit who doesn’t realize that you maybe the best thing that ever happened to them (except in cases where they are taken) but the remedy to still get over is so simple; as simple as making babies. First, you have to cry; yes, I said it cry. Cry them out of your system till you can cry no more, just keep crying and call them anything you can think of ranging from boneheads to nitwits to whatever seems appropriate at the time. Then, watch a lot of movies if you are not the type that gets occupied with work, keep watching till your eyes threaten to explode and beg for the attention of rest. Babe; you gotta rebound the shithead! Have as many rebounds as possible, crush on any cute guy or girl, just keep crushing. Sigh at the most ludicrous of body types, fantasize, and be imaginative. All these, I learnt from experience because as many times as you think you can go by the book and try not talk about them or avoid seeing them, you realize that you just want to do all these and more and if (Dear God) your luck runs outs and you fall into the hands of the ones that would just milk you out of all emotions and leave you damaged goods, then you gonna be in loads of trouble so just think for a minute and resort to the things that you are sure is gonna help you. Darling, you have to purge that crush, ruin every picture, damage every hangout figuratively, you just have to let them out of your system one way or the other. It’s going to be a slow painful process if you are so into them but for others that are gifted at being healed quickly then it might not really suck for you. And yes, if you can’t restrain yourself from talking about them to your friends then by all means do, the most they’d do is roll their eyes and scream enough for all to hear; but they will not abandon you just because you can’t get over a ninny that fails to realize the potential you have as an individual. I really don’t have all the answers because I am as human as you are, I mean come on, I don’t have blue blood... and I’ve had a few crush mishaps of my own but this is my own remedy and how it worked for me, and for your info I stack the names of crushes and make sure we’ve shared a kiss just for my own keepsakes, and to show I conquered in at least one area. I don’t believe that you can make something happen if you don’t want to but if you do, well; that’s an entirely different story. So I’m gonna live you with this, keep crushing, keep feeling alive ‘cause you never know which one might just feel same about you; and if that’s not the case you better darn well don’t let it last more than it should. I mean it’s just pheromones and testosterones right, how hard can it be?